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| Movie nightFrom watching the commercials for The Hangover, I didn't want to see the movie. I like a good comedy, but I'm not a fan of slapstick or too many drunk jokes. The commercials for this film are incredibly misleading. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Zach Galifianakis was hilarious. The film was a good solid film, but with Zach, he was the thick delicious icing....
Maybe I should stop with describing him like that. You get what I mean, right?!
We had dinner out with friends at a local organic restaurant. It had a neat atmosphere, but the food wasn't that great. It was also family game night and we got to play Pengoloo. Awesome memory game for kids.
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| Do I have my husband's permission to write this blog?"The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, "It's a girl."" ~ Shirley Chisholm
As most of you know, our house has termites. They haven't done any damage yet, but we have to get a treatment done to make sure they don't eat the floor out from underneath us. We had three different estimates done and settled on an exterminator. Keith called on Monday to make an appointment and they said they'd call back. Later in the day, they called the house and said that Monday morning was open for them. I said it was good for me. Then they asked, "Is this okay with your husband? We want to make sure it's convenient for him." Umm, well, since he's going to be at work and I'm going to be the one at home, you don't have to worry about arranging the time with his schedule. "Are you sure it's okay with your husband?" Yes, it's okay with my husband. "Do you want to call and ask him?" What? No. It's fine. Monday morning is fine. "Alright. We're scheduling you for Monday morning. Please let your husband know."
To top it off, it was a woman that had called me.
I do own this house, too. It's not only my husband's house. I'm not one of his employees or a decoration. I'll be writing out the check and giving it to the exterminator. Oooh, does my husband know I wrote a check? Geez.
"When two people marry they become in the eyes of the law one person, and that one person is the husband." ~ Shana Alexander
I can't say that I've never experienced sexism before, but I've never experienced the sort of sexism I have since I've been married. People expect that I must defer to my husband for everything. Even people that I've known all my life and have treated me like a strong woman now sometimes treat me like I'm second to my husband. How does having a ring on my finger and signing a piece of paper suddenly make me less of a person? I didn't get the same treatment when I wasn't married and living with Keith. I've been with him for several years. Why does marriage suddenly make it all different?
Things people have actually said to me:
"Now that you're married, you'll be wanting to have kids soon." I get this one a lot from people. From strangers and from people that have known me all my life. It doesn't matter if I didn't want to have them before, having a ring on my finger means I want children. It's like a trigger button to my maternal instinct, I suppose.
"Now that you're married, you'll want to be cooking more." Really? The kitchen fears me!
"Now that you're married, you won't want to be going out with your friends much any more." Why? I don't understand why some people would believe such a thing. Married women aren't allowed to have friends?
"Now that you're married, you'll have to work extra hard to keep your relationship fresh." I don't get how working to keep your relationship healthy is any different when you're married or not.
"Now that you're married, you'll be having far less sex." Not if I have anything to do with it!
My husband has not treated me any differently since we were married. Our relationship is not something new. Why is it for other people? I could go on some psychological, sociological or feminist rant about it and list all sorts of textbook reasons, but I still will never truly understand why marriage makes such a difference.
The fact that I'm married should not cause people to treat me in a demeaning manner. The fact I'm a woman should not cause people to treat me lesser than a man. I'm a human being in love. It's simple and beautiful. Why make it something complicated and dreadful?
(I just like this quote!)
"There are very few jobs that actually require a penis or vagina. All other jobs should be open to everybody." ~ Florynce Kennedy
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| Job hunting woesI've been depressed lately about the job hunt. Yes, I understand our economy is bad. Yes, I do know it's the summer and even harder to find work. Sure, I have more education than experience, but I'm not without skills. And yes, I do realize I live in one of the states with the highest unemployment rates.
Still. I've sent out dozens upon dozens of resumes and applications. Not even a nibble. Nothing. Nada.
Likely it's not a reflection on me at all, but it makes me feel worthless. It makes me feel like I have nothing to offer society. Or, what skills I do have, aren't valuable.
I'm not looking to be pitied. I'm looking for a job. I'm looking to feel useful.
I sent out another bunch of resumes and applications today. This group is for research facilities and working in their *winces* call centers. It's not telemarketing, but it's still call center work.
I'm seriously considering getting my CDL. Ads for drivers are everywhere. I would have my pick. They pay is pretty darn good, too. I could have a job that is a regular 40 hour one and never leave the state. But could I be a trucker? A delivery person? A chauffeur? I don't know. I like driving around, but I need something much more mentally stimulating than that.
I know. I'm unlikely to find a job that mentally stimulates me. I'm unlikely to find one that I even enjoy. That's the fate of the majority of people. If you want to live the life you want, you have to have the income to fund it. Or find a magic money tree.
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| Fourth bulletinI'm annoyed that Gen Con has closed their event registration. We already have our badges pre-registered, but we hadn't taken the time to download the event catalogue and pick out events until today. I made a big list, because I know a lot of the games will be taken. I go to the site planning to register, and I see that I can't! This is the first year they've closed off registration for the convention and events like this. I understand early registration and the discounts you get with them are gone, but we should still be able to buy tickets. It's ridiculous. Now we have to wait until two days before the convention itself to do anything. It makes me growl. Grrrrrrrrr.
My blood pressure is good. My doctor's appointment on Thursday went well. Other than telling me to lose more weight, everything else is great. I mowed the lawn on Thursday evening so we didn't have to worry about it this weekend. I watched Marley & Me and was only amused by the dog. Owen and Jen just irritate me. Keith and I decided we're definitely going to adopt a cat (maybe two!) this autumn. Adult or senior cats. I want a big lap cat to keep me warm this winter! This evening, we're going to a friend's house for a cookie party. Mmmm, cookies. You see, I'm not very good at this losing weight thing, Doc.
I haven't been doing much writing since I submitted my wizard short story. I need to write this pirate short that I'm working on, but I'm dragging my feet with it since I started with a battle.
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| 5 questionsIf you would like to play 5 Questions, leave a comment on this entry saying so. I'll then leave 5 questions for you on your blog.
These questions are from mpepper. 1. What do you find to be the most difficult part of the writing process? The editing process. When I finish my first draft, I'm happy and glowing. I tend to be a bit biased and think this newborn story is perfect. Of course, I know it isn't and I know it will need to be edited. It's hard for me to edit my own work. I've been getting better at it, but it's a little painful and sometimes it feels incredibly tedious. I want to be done with it and move on to something new.
2. Where do you think you'd be if you hadn't met Keith? If I hadn't met Keith, I would have likely gotten a crappy job in the town I went to university. I would have saved enough money and gone to teach English in Japan. I had taken the course for it and they had accepted me. I didn't leave at that time because you had to pay your own expenses for the first month and that would be around $5,000. I don't know what would have become of me if I went to Japan, but if I would have stayed in Ontario, I might likely still be there working a job I don't like and possibly living with someone. Boy, that's very pessimistic of me. I was in a big rut when I met Keith, though. I didn't have enough money to live on and I was afraid that I might be forced to return to my parents' home. That would have killed my spirit completely. I would like to say that I would have found a job, paid off my debts and returned to school to do another degree or get my Phd. I would have went into teaching with my Phd. If I got another degree, I would have gotten it in nursing or something practical that I would have been guaranteed a job wherever I lived.
3. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? I would love to live in British Columbia in a cabin in the mountains. Near Vancouver so I could go into the city when I want to do something. Though, if I could afford it, I would live in different places all over the world. I don't feel the need to be tied down to one place or house. As long as I have my own space wherever I am, I'm good.
4. Which author has had the most influence on your writing? A bunch of names flash through my mind when I read this question, but I would say the one author that has stuck with me for the longest is Stephen King. I started reading his books when I was ten and I have always admired him. I wanted to be a horror writer just like him. I wrote a novel when I was sixteen that I deemed a big fan letter and I mailed it off to him. It was about a bunch of teens spending the summer with a famous author and learning from him, but it turned out the author was possessed by a demon and was killing off the kids to steal their unique psychic powers. *LOL* Yes, a fan letter. I loved how creepy and detailed his books were. I loved his huge stories. The Stand. It. Tommyknockers. Those were my three favorites. Then as I grew older, I began to appreciate other aspects of his work. The incredible world building and characterization. That's what I strive for in my own writing. The Dark Tower series is on of my favorite series of all time. I can only dream of obtaining his level of greatness. I'm in awe of him and his imagination.
5. Do you ever feel like publishing imprints are similar to name brands in that some are more fashionable or perceived to be "better" than others? Yes, definitely. I see it all the time. I have friends that write that refuse to submit to certain publishers because they deem them not good enough. I have friends that will only submit to a select few publishers. I think some editors and agents are not impressed that I'm published by a small press. I sometimes wonders if it reflects negatively on me and they decide not to take me on because of it. My biggest dream would to be published by Tor. That is like the Tommy Hilfiger of publishers. (Is Tommy even still cool?) I'd be proud to be published by Penguin or another major publisher, too. Tor is just the best of the best in my mind. There is a huge bunch of people that snub vanity presses and epublishers. Then there's those that snub ones like Harlequin because they have a certain idea of what they print. (I actually use to feel that way about Harlequin, but I've changed my mind about it. They have some fantastic authors and great books.) It took me a long time to decide if I wanted a book published by a small press like Mystic Moon Press, because I knew some people would not like it and it could reflect negatively on me.
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